#84: The leadership skill you already have (but haven't noticed)
From Overwhelmed or Unsure to Unstoppable: Your 8-Week Leadership Reset
Reading Time: 10-15 minutes
I was three months into my first leadership role when my mentor asked me a simple question: "What's going well?"
I froze.
I could rattle off everything that was hard. The team dynamics that needed work. The systems that weren't quite right. The skills I was still building. But what was actually working?
I had no idea.
Sound familiar?
Here's what I've learned working with hundreds of emerging leaders in healthcare, government, and nonprofit: We're experts at spotting what's broken. We're terrible at recognizing what's working.
And that's a problem. Because the leaders who create lasting impact? They don't spend their energy trying to fix everything. They double down on what they're already doing well.
Why You're Missing Your Own Wins
Marcus Buckingham, who's spent decades studying high performers, found something fascinating: Most people can't articulate their strengths. Not because they don't have them—but because strengths feel effortless.
When something comes naturally to you, you assume everyone does it that way. You dismiss it as "no big deal."
But here's the truth: Your effortless is someone else's impossible.
That moment when you stayed calm while everyone else panicked? That's not luck—that's a leadership advantage.
That time you connected two people who needed each other? That's not just being nice—that's strategic relationship building.
The way you broke down that complex problem so your team could see the path forward? That's not common sense—that's a skill.
You've been leading well all year. You just haven't been paying attention.
The Pattern You're Not Seeing
Sally Hogshead, author of How to Fascinate, discovered that each of us has a unique way we naturally add value. She calls these our "Fascination Advantages"—the specific ways we capture attention and create impact.
Some leaders are most effective when they bring calm, steady presence (the Trust advantage). Others create energy and momentum through enthusiasm (the Passion advantage). Still others cut through complexity with clarity (the Mystique advantage).
None of these is better than the others. They're just different.
And here's what matters: When you're operating in your natural advantage, leadership feels easier. You create better results with less effort. Your team responds more positively.
That's not because you're trying harder. It's because you're working with your wiring instead of against it.
The question is: Do you know what your advantage is?
Your Leadership Wins Are Showing You Something
Think about the moments this year when leadership felt natural. Not easy—natural. There's a difference.
Maybe it was:
- The conversation where you helped someone see a new possibility
- The crisis where you stayed grounded while others spiraled
- The meeting where your idea shifted the whole direction
- The moment you knew exactly what decision to make
- The time your enthusiasm got the team unstuck
These aren't random. There's a pattern.
In my SHiNE Leadership Framework, this is where everything starts: Self-awareness. Not the kind where you analyze your weaknesses. The kind where you recognize your natural leadership DNA.
Because once you can name how you lead best? You can do it on purpose.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
I worked with a healthcare director—let's call her Maya—who was exhausted. She was working 60-hour weeks, saying yes to everything, trying to be the leader she thought she "should" be.
When I asked her to identify five moments from the past year when leadership felt natural, she pushed back. "I don't think I have any," she said. "I'm just figuring this out."
But when she actually did the exercise? A pattern emerged immediately.
Every single moment involved one-on-one conversations where she helped someone work through a complex decision. Not group strategy sessions. Not big presentations. Quiet, thoughtful conversations where she asked the questions that helped people find their own answers.
"That's not leadership," she said. "That's just... talking to people."
No, Maya. That's your leadership. And you're exceptional at it.
Once she could see this pattern, everything shifted. She stopped forcing herself into every committee. She started protecting time for the conversations where she added the most value. She built her team around complementary strengths to cover what didn't come naturally to her.
Her hours went down. Her impact went up. And leadership stopped feeling like she was pushing a boulder uphill.
That's what happens when you lead from your strengths instead of your "shoulds."
Your Turn: The 10-Minute Win-Spotting Exercise
Here's what I want you to do this week. Not for an hour. For ten minutes.
Step 1: List Your Five (3 minutes) Write down five moments from this past year when leadership felt natural—when you thought "Yes, THIS is me leading well." Don't overthink it. Quick, instinctive moments that felt right.
Step 2: Find the Thread (4 minutes) Look at your five moments. What's similar?
- Were you solving problems? Building relationships? Creating vision?
- Were you working one-on-one or with groups?
- Were you bringing calm or bringing energy?
- Were you clarifying direction or empowering people to find their own?
Step 3: Name It (3 minutes) In one sentence, describe the pattern: "I lead best when I..."
Examples:
- "I lead best when I help people see connections they hadn't noticed."
- "I lead best when I bring calm, steady presence in chaos."
- "I lead best when I energize people around a shared vision."
- "I lead best when I cut through confusion with clear next steps."
That sentence? That's your leadership advantage. The thing you can do more of in 2025.
Why This Matters for Your Mission
Listen, you didn't choose healthcare, government, or nonprofit work because it was easy. You chose it because you're driven by mission. You believe in the impact you're making.
But impact requires sustainability. And sustainability requires working WITH your strengths, not against them.
You can't serve your mission if you're burned out trying to be a leader you're not.
The leaders who last—who create change that compounds year after year—aren't the ones who do everything. They're the ones who do their thing exceptionally well and build teams around them to handle the rest.
This isn't about being selfish. This is about being strategic.
When you operate in your zone of genius, you:
- Create better outcomes with less energy
- Model sustainable leadership for your team
- Free up capacity to actually think strategically
- Show up as the leader people need you to be
And that? That's how you make the impact you're meant to make.
What's Next
This is Week 1 of an eight-week journey we're taking together—from overwhelmed to unstoppable. Every Saturday through January, I'll be here with a new post designed to help you move from spinning your wheels to leading with confidence and clarity.
December is about discovering what's already working: spotting your wins, naming what drains you, owning your unique leadership style, and mining the hard moments for wisdom.
Then in January, we'll build your 2025 plan: defining who you're becoming, drawing your lines in the sand, picking your strategic growth moves, and creating the support system that makes it all stick.
Eight weeks. Ten minutes per week. One clear win each time.
By the end of January, you'll have a complete leadership roadmap built on YOUR strengths, not someone else's playbook.
Next Week
Next week, we'll flip the lens: If this week is about what energizes you, next week is about what drains you. Because both matter.
But for now? Just do the ten minutes. Spot your wins. Find your pattern. Name your advantage.
You've been leading well all along. It's time you knew it.
Take It Deeper
Want to see the complete 8-week roadmap? Download the full journey map here to see exactly where we're headed together—all eight weeks laid out so you can see the transformation from Week 1 to Week 8.
And if you want to go beyond the 10-minute exercises? Download my free Authentic Leadership Blueprint workbook. It's packed with exercises to help you identify your unique leadership DNA, align your work with your strengths, and build a sustainable path forward.
You were meant to lead like this—not like someone else.
Get the Authentic Leadership Blueprint →
Leave a spark wherever you go.
About the SHiNE Framework
This post is grounded in the SHiNE Leadership Framework-a proven model designed to help emerging leaders unlock their potential and lead with authenticity. Whether you're navigating healthcare, government, or nonprofit work, SHiNE provides the tools to build confidence, stay resilient, and lead with clarity.
Grounded in lifelong growth, empathy, humility, and integrity, SHiNE empowers you to embrace your unique strengths, connect with others, and inspire meaningful change.
SHiNE is about thriving as the leader you are meant to be.
Email: info@spirenzaconsulting.com
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