#82: Why “Getting It Right” Is the Wrong Goal: The Power of Cultural Humility in Building Partnerships
Series: Partnerships That Matter: How to Build Relationships That Drive Impact: Week 3
Here’s a fear I hear from emerging leaders all the time:
What if I say the wrong thing? What if I offend someone? What if I don’t understand their background well enough to work with them effectively?
You’re leading in healthcare, government, or the nonprofit sector—fields where you’re constantly working across difference. Different cultures, different communities, different lived experiences. And you know it matters. You know that to serve your mission well, you need to build trust with people whose worlds look different from yours.
So you do what feels responsible: You try to learn. You read articles. You attend trainings on cultural competence. You study the “right” ways to engage with different groups.
And yet, there’s this nagging feeling that no matter how much you learn, you’re still going to get it wrong sometimes. That you’ll never know enough. That one misstep will undo all the trust you’ve worked to build.
Here’s what I’ve learned: That fear? It’s pointing you toward something important. But the solution isn’t learning more. It’s changing your goal entirely.
This is the third post in our Partnerships That Matter series, and it’s about a concept that transformed how I approach working across difference: cultural humility.
What Is Cultural Humility (And Why It’s Different From What You’ve Been Taught)
Most of us have heard of cultural competence—the idea that you need to develop knowledge and skills about different cultural groups to work effectively with them.
It sounds good in theory. But here’s the problem: It assumes that if you learn enough, you’ll eventually “get it right.” That there’s a finish line where you become competent enough to stop worrying about making mistakes.
That’s not how it works. And honestly, that framework can create more harm than good—because it positions you as the expert on someone else’s experience.
Cultural humility offers a completely different approach.
Developed by Melanie Tervalon and Jann Murray-García in their work with healthcare providers, cultural humility is defined as “a lifelong commitment to self-evaluation and self-critique, to redressing the power imbalances in the physician-patient dynamic, and to developing mutually beneficial and non-paternalistic clinical and advocacy partnerships with communities on behalf of individuals and defined populations.”
Let me translate that for leadership contexts:
Cultural humility means:
- You’ll never fully “know” someone else’s culture or experience—and that’s okay
- You commit to lifelong learning instead of trying to achieve mastery
- You stay aware of power dynamics and work to balance them
- You let the other person be the expert on their own experience
- You’re willing to be uncomfortable, make mistakes, and keep showing up anyway
The goal isn’t to get it right. The goal is to stay humble, stay curious, and keep learning.
Why This Matters for Leaders Like You
If you’re leading in healthcare, government, or the nonprofit sector, you’re working with and serving diverse communities. Your clients, your patients, your constituents—they come from backgrounds that may be very different from yours.
And here’s what I believe: Our sectors should be leading the way on this. Not because it’s trendy or politically correct, but because it’s central to our missions. We can’t serve people well if we’re not willing to truly see them, understand them, and partner with them.
But here’s the reality: Organizations move slowly. System-wide change takes time—time you don’t always have.
So while we wait for the whole-of-organization approach, here’s what you can do right now: Practice cultural humility in your sphere of influence.
You don’t need permission. You don’t need a formal training program. You just need to commit to showing up differently in the partnerships you’re building today.
The Three Pillars of Cultural Humility
Cultural humility rests on three foundational practices. These aren’t one-time actions—they’re ongoing commitments.
Pillar #1: Lifelong Learning and Self-Reflection
Cultural humility starts with acknowledging that you don’t—and can’t—know everything about someone else’s experience.
This isn’t about beating yourself up for what you don’t know. It’s about recognizing that every person you work with has lived experiences, perspectives, and cultural contexts that shape how they see the world. And your job isn’t to become an expert on their life. It’s to stay curious and keep learning from them.
This requires regular self-reflection:
- What assumptions am I bringing into this partnership
- Where do my biases show up, even when I don’t intend them to?
- What do I need to learn more about to work effectively with this person or community?
The key is that this reflection never stops. You don’t “graduate” from cultural humility. You commit to the work for as long as you’re leading.
Pillar #2: Recognizing and Addressing Power Imbalances
Here’s something that’s often uncomfortable to name: In many partnerships, especially across difference, there are power imbalances.
Maybe you have more institutional power. Maybe you control resources. Maybe your position gives you decision-making authority the other person doesn’t have.
Cultural humility asks you to notice those imbalances and actively work to balance them.
This might look like:
- Asking “How can I make sure your voice is heard in this process?” instead of assuming you know what they need
- Sharing decision-making power when possible
- Acknowledging when you hold power and being transparent about how you’ll use it
- Creating space for others to lead, even when you could take the lead yourself
It’s not about denying your power or feeling guilty for having it. It’s about using it thoughtfully and sharing it generously.
Pillar #3: Letting Others Be the Experts
This is where cultural humility connects directly back to what we explored in Post #2 about humble inquiry.
When you’re working with someone from a different background, culture, or community, the most powerful thing you can do is let them be the expert on their own experience.
Not your research. Not your training. Not what you read in a book or heard in a workshop.
Them.
This means asking questions like:
- “Help me understand what this looks like from your perspective.”
- “What do you need from me to make this partnership work for you?”
- “What am I missing that would help me support you better?”
And then—this is the hard part—truly listening. Not planning your response. Not defending yourself. Not explaining why you did what you did. Just… listening.
How to Practice Cultural Humility in Your Partnerships
So how do you actually do this in practice? Here are three ways to start building cultural humility into your partnerships right now.
Practice #1: Lead With “I Don’t Know”
One of the most powerful phrases in cultural humility is: “I don’t know. Can you help me understand?”
When you’re working with someone from a different background and you don’t understand something—a perspective, a reaction, a concern—don’t pretend you do. Don’t make assumptions. Just ask.
Example:
“I want to make sure I’m understanding this correctly. Can you help me see what you’re experiencing? I don’t want to make assumptions.”
This does two things: It honors the other person as the expert, and it signals that you’re committed to learning, not performing.
Practice #2: Notice Your Discomfort (And Stay Anyway)
Cultural humility will make you uncomfortable. You’ll say the wrong thing. You’ll realize you made an assumption that was off base. You’ll feel awkward or uncertain.
That discomfort is part of the process.
Instead of running from it or defending yourself, notice it. Name it if it’s helpful: “I realize I may have made an assumption there that doesn’t fit your experience. Can we talk about that?”
The willingness to be uncomfortable—and to stay in the conversation anyway—is what builds trust.
Practice #3: Reflect Regularly on Your Impact
Cultural humility requires ongoing self-reflection. Not just about your intentions (which are probably good), but about your impact.
Try This:
After a partnership conversation or meeting, take 5 minutes to reflect:
- What went well?
- Where did I make assumptions?
- What did I learn about this person’s perspective that I didn’t know before?
- What would I do differently next time?
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about awareness and growth.
Cultural Humility and the SHiNE Framework
In my SHiNE Leadership Framework, cultural humility connects to multiple elements:
H – Humility: Cultural humility is, at its core, about recognizing that you don’t have all the answers and that others’ perspectives are essential. It’s about leading without ego.
H – Heart: Cultural humility requires genuine care and compassion for the people you’re partnering with. It’s not a performance or a checkbox—it’s a commitment rooted in valuing others’ humanity.
N – Nurturing Partnerships: When you practice cultural humility, you’re tending to relationships with intention and care. You’re building partnerships where people feel seen, heard, and valued—not tokenized or studied.
Cultural humility isn’t just a diversity tool. It’s a way of being as a leader that prioritizes connection, respect, and shared power.
Reflection Question:
Think about a partnership where you’re working across difference.
What’s one assumption you’re bringing in that you haven’t checked? How could you ask about it with cultural humility?
Wrapping It Up: You Don’t Need to Get It Right—You Need to Keep Showing Up
Here’s what I want you to remember: You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to say the wrong thing sometimes. You’re not going to fully understand every person’s experience or cultural context.
And that’s okay.
The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is humility. The goal is showing up with curiosity, with respect, and with a willingness to keep learning—even when it’s uncomfortable.
When you lead with cultural humility, you create partnerships where people feel truly seen. Where power is shared, not hoarded. Where differences are honored, not erased.
And in healthcare, government, and nonprofits—where the people we serve are diverse, complex, and beautifully human—that kind of leadership isn’t optional. It’s essential.
You don’t need to wait for your organization to lead on this. You can start today, in your sphere of influence, with the partnerships you’re building right now.
That’s how change begins.
Key Takeaways
- Cultural humility is a lifelong commitment to learning, not a destination of competence.
- The three pillars: lifelong learning and self-reflection, recognizing and addressing power imbalances, and letting others be the experts on their own experience.
- You don’t need organizational permission to practice cultural humility—you can start in your sphere of influence right now.
- Lead with “I don’t know,” notice your discomfort and stay anyway, and reflect regularly on your impact.
- Healthcare, government, and nonprofit leaders should lead the way on cultural humility given the diverse communities we serve.
Next in the Series
Coming soon in Partnerships That Matter: The Long Game: Sustaining Partnerships That Create Lasting Impact
In our final post, we’ll explore how to maintain partnerships over time, navigate conflict when it arises, and create partnership ecosystems that multiply your impact—plus a recap of everything we’ve covered in this series.
Leave a spark wherever you go.
About the SHiNE Framework
This post is grounded in the SHiNE Leadership Framework-a proven model designed to help emerging leaders unlock their potential and lead with authenticity. Whether you're navigating healthcare, government, or nonprofit work, SHiNE provides the tools to build confidence, stay resilient, and lead with clarity.
Grounded in lifelong growth, empathy, humility, and integrity, SHiNE empowers you to embrace your unique strengths, connect with others, and inspire meaningful change.
SHiNE is about thriving as the leader you are meant to be.
Email: info@spirenzaconsulting.com
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